My glass is half empty!

Normally, I’m glass half full kind of girl. But today, I’m looking at a glass that’s half empty. Why? Because I’m now officially half way done with chemotherapy treatments! Today I had my third of six. Half done. Half gone.

Dr. Paul took a measurement and the tumor is now one-fourth its original size and he can no longer feel the affected lymph node. I’m very thankful that the chemo medications are working.

Since my last treatment, I’ve been trying to find some new methods for coping with the side effects. I saw Sally (therapist) last week some time (my chemo brain prevents me from remembering when … and SO many other things. I’ve been reassured that it will return to normal when I’m done with chemo treatments). She helped me with visualization and gave me a reading resource for Guided Imagery. She also suggested that I try calming, relaxing music without words. I used breathing exercises as well to ground myself and feel peaceful for the whole 4 hours I’m receiving treatment. I feel better today than I have after my previous two treatments.

I talked with Dr. Paul about using a stronger sleep aid and a stronger stomach acid remedy. He said that my liver function and kidney function look good and my blood counts are good now and were also good on day 10 (which is typically the biggest dip).

When I’ve been feeling so sick, it’s often hard to remember that these chemotherapy medications are making me better. My conversation with Butch reminded me of that yesterday. And my exam with Dr. Paul confirmed it. “Know in a deep place that you are better for it… And so you are.”

Tomorrow, I will see Butch again in the morning. Then I’ll go to the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center clinic in the afternoon for my Neulasta injection.

I want to thank some people for all their wonderful support. If I forget someone today, I’ll remember in the future. I am very forgetful these days — it’s not personal.

I’ll start by thanking Lisa Bisette for the amazing dinner. Yum! So thoughtful and good! Thank you to Kathy Peterson for my journal and card. Such a cool thing and so nice of you to think of me. Thank you to all the people who’ve sent me cards and texts and emails and Facebook messages. They mean so much — even though I don’t often respond. Please know I appreciate them immeasurably. They really help me when I’m feeling like I want to say “no mas.”

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